Resolutions???

Naaa.....................................

I don't like this part.


Many people ask about my resolutions in this new year.

Well, maybe i have in my mind what i want to do and achieve, but i would rather keep it for my self than share it.


Actually i never targetting things to be done or achieved. I will just let everything goes and flows and i receive and run what GOD gives me.

I think it will be more interesting to see and face my life without planning it.

I try to be open minded and do whatever i want to do which comes to my mind anytime.


Maybe, i'm just afraid that my plans wouldn't be done, but not really. I'm just not into too targetting person.


However, this year i hope these several wishes can come true:

1. Recover from my FAM, which already been disturbing my mind for years, eventhough it is not a life threatening disease. For this, i am now having a treatment with sort of alternative way, instead of being surgeried. I have been surgeried twice for this disease, and i don't want to spend my life with other surgery. Now, i go to Kelapa Gading area every saturday morning to visit one the alternative treatment guy. I was introduced by my boss. It's quiet strange, the way he does the treatment is by hitting a cigarrette-shaped paper which is put between our feet fingers. And it feels so damn painfull.......I had 3 lumps before, and after 10 times treatment now only 1 left, Alhamdulillah
GOD......i really need your help to recover.

2. Study in Europe. I applied a scholarship that programmed in 2 chosen universities. I chose University of York, in UK for the Political Science and Institute of International Studies in Barcelona, Spain for Public Policy. It is just my first time applying for master scholarship. I do hope and pray to study and travel in Europe.

3. Get closer to Allah, my GOD. I've been recently feeling far from God, maybe because of the metropolitan environment that i am facing right now. I want and need to get closer, in order to be more calm and spiritfull. I need to pray more often, read the Qur'an frequently and do some good and charity to less fortunate people.

4. Closer to my families. I am sort of a rebel. I hardly can walk together with my parents and siblings. I don't feel love among us. I can't feel the sense of family at home. That's why i decided to rent a room in downtown. It's better for me to miss home while i'm away, than debating with parents and quarelling with my bro and sis while i'm at home, right?? For this, i will try to keep positive thinking about my family. They love me, but, maybe just the way they show it that makes me unable to feel it.

5. Be more organized person. I put things everywhere closest to me, then i forget to put them in the place where they should be. I oftenly forget the appoinments i've made, then make others that the timed conflict with. I oftenly postphone some works because of my laziness, untill i feel too many things to do then i finish them improperly because of the hurry. This is quiet hard, because i need somebody else to remind or even yell at me to make things done on time and correctly and not keep on postphoning things. Friends are not always available, eventhough maybe i have a million, and at the moment i am enjoying my single status. So for this, i need quiet a longer time to change.

6. More on exercise and work out. I enjoy of waking up very late on Sunday (which my Mom always screams if i do this at home). I'm not staying in a place where gym is just around the corner. Fitness center is quiet expensive to be a member of it. My family has a domestic helper at home, that it is unecessarily for me to do things unless she is not around. For this, maybe i need to call friends who is also programming to do more exercise. We can go to Senayan together to jogging or swimming or playing volley ball (my favorite that been a long time i don't play).

I still got a lot more wishes and plans actually, that's why i can't write more. I save it in my original software, my brain. I keep on thinking and imagining whatever i want to do and to be. I want to have a life without limits and boundaries (in a good way), i want to express my freedom, i want to be everything i can be best................