Dear God

Dear God,

Please forgive me for being brave enough to write a letter to You.

My loneliness and confusion make me longing for you, want to get closer to You and be friends with You.

I’m not into crying and being melancholic when I talk to You, neither to my friends and families. I prefer to talk in a normal tone, from the heart, in a normal conversation situation. So please forgive once again for not being able to be melancholic when I ask something to You.

I am so grateful for everything You give me, bless me. Eventhough as a human I always want more and more and more than what You have been giving me. This is also my reason to apology.

What I ‘m afraid of right now is that You will take back everything You have been giving me. My families, friends, relatives, my brain(although I’m not smart enough but I m happy with how You show me how to use it), my heart (for being able to be nice and open to various people characteristics). Please keep every precious thing in my life, God, and let me enjoy, use and take care of them.

However, I’m feeling not enough now. Maybe I’m a bit greedy, but I am not satisfied with what I am now. I want and need to do and be more than what I’m doing and being now. Somehow I feel that You are talking to me and asking do I want more?
And somehow I believe that You will give me more, because I believe You love me. I just need to be patient and keep praying, and doing and struggling with this.

The way I’m thinking now is that you are giving me the opportunity to feel how people, who are not as lucky as me, running their lives. How they struggle and solve problems, how they act and response to conditions, etc.

Honestly, I still don’t know what should I do now. Being enough and trying to settle down, or still need to dream and achieve something that honestly I’m still not sure what it is.

Some people say I’m so lucky and blessed with what I am now. But I’m not yet feeling the same way. See, I’m so greedy and feeling not enough. Please forgive me. I should have been so grateful from a very previous time.

Oh, Dear God…. Please help me. Why is everything so confusing and looks like puzzles, mysteries, hidden meanings?

I know and do believe that You always work in mysterious ways.

Perhaps, I’m just not smart enough to realize it.